I was having a discussion with Eric via e-mail about blogging and decided to Google Power and Control. My blog comes out on top of course (we bloggers are a very competitive lot - Hey "M. Simon", "M Simon", and "MSimon" searches all have my blog, Power and Control, at the top - but I digress). What interested me was the other numerous links dealing with Power and Control. Or to put it as this blog did:
Power and Control over males
Which relates to this image:
The site gave me this link to another place that had this to say:
Which reminds me of a girl I once dated for a rather long while. She would agitate and agitate until I assaulted her. A punch in the arm or similar. And I had never beat a woman before in my life. Ever. And I had been with a LOT of women. Well one day I told her I had enough and was never going to touch her that way again. She LITERALLY kicked me out of her apartment. Best kick in the ass I ever got. Naturally that relationship ended. I was quite fortunate not to have encountered the legal system over the matter. My ass would have been grass. Which is to say some women want to be beat and are not enough in touch with their desires to articulate their desires. Putting the onus on the man. Clever.
Which led me to a book:
I Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
From a review:
I found this book to be very useful in helping me understand the behavior of a woman with whom I was involved. It was recommended to me by my therapist who was treating me for depression because of the traumatic relationship I had with a borderline.The reviewer talks about "coping". I consider myself fortunate to be surviving.
Kreisman and Straus do an excellent job of explaining the root causes, behaviors, and treatment of the disorder as well as coping skills for dealing with a person with BPD. Although the relationship was turbulent and ended disastrously, I found a great deal of comfort in the book because it explained how and why a borderline behaves the she does. I learned that I indeed had narcissistic tendencies which drew me toward women with clinging and idealizing behavior, but then devaluating and vengeful behavior. Basically I was involved in a hostile/dependent ( narcissistic / borderline ) relationship. It made me take a serious look at my self. I also have learned to be a lot more cautious about who I relate with in my life.
Borderlines are not evil, just very vengeful and scared people. If you are involved in any capacity with someone who exhibits primitive idealization, devaluation, omnipotence, projection, or projective identification and seems irrational, this person may have BPD. This book will help you learn principles to help cope with a borderline. I sure wish I had access to it when I was involved with one.
I did have a relationship (short) before the above mentioned fiasco with a girl who wanted to be spanked. HARD. She did know herself enough to sorta ask for it. She was really in to it. I was not. By evening it was over. I still wonder to this day if it had something to do with her father being a pain inflicter (dentist). Where ever you are these days honey I hope you got and are still getting the pain you desire. From some one willing to give it to you. I'm glad it is not me.
Cross Posted at Classical Values