I've got a secret

The Power and Control folks have asked me to set up a service to aid all those news organizations in search of a story.

We have your secret. Secret memos. Secret plans, secret organizations.

We can provide you with any of those and more. All secret and all conveniently unsourced. Is the USA going to war with Bessarabia? We have the plan. Sending more troops to Iraq just before pulling them all out? We have the plan. Attacking Saudi Arabia from Moon Base Alpha - we definitely have that plan. As you can see we specilize in the plans of the USA but we also have other secrets. Did you know about the Niger double cross of the Italian agent with the French paper work on the Iraqi uranium sales? That was one of our best jobs. Proof? They didn't even mention our name. We have the documents including a sworn statement by Chirac denying everything except the visit to his mistress. Saddam shipped his WMDs to Canada? We can prove it. Whatever your needs in the way of secret documents we have them. And we promise to never ever reveal our sources or where we buy our fonts.

Our planners are busy night and day so you don't have to be. Secret memos - we got 'em. Secret forged memos - overstocked - they are on sale, this week only.

Now as a general rule we prefer to work for Republicans. However, our #1 rule is - show us the money. Money rules. We can't be Republicans without it. However, rich Democrats like Kerry, Edwards, and Michael Moore are always welcome. Provided they act like big spending big shots. I am not interested in cut rate Democrats. At all.

So come on over and place an order. Business has been good, but hey. It could always be better.